Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
