Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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