Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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