Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
