This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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