I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
