from now on my penis is your penis
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
