Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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