It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
