I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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