I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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