hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
