My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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