We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
