You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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