hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dignity is for republicans.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
