So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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