Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
