Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
