Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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