He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
