He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
