i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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