i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
