Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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