I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I understand Curling. That high.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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