He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
