If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
