dude i'm inner monologue high
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
