Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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