Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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