Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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