She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
