She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
