We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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