omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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