Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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