Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
