i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
