My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
