Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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