walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
