Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
