Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
