talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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