I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
