i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize