office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize