Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
