mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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