so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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