absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i dont even know how to be here
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
