Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
