if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
