Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
