im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
