Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
