i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
