I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
